Category Archives: Family

Tackle and Tool Boxes Don’t Come with Instructions

Fathers are quieter in their love, committed
No less so than mothers, more so some days
Responsible often for lawns, and repairs
Sometimes better in the kitchen and laundry
Having loved or still loving the mothers
Who more than likely get and take special
Credit for doing more, caring more deeply
It is not truth that anatomy and physiology
Is a bequeather of parenthood, nor is it less male
Than female. Accepting daily responsibilities
For unglamorous, unnoticed, unappreciated
Chores and love’s daily laborious considerations
The being there, anchoring, when things fall apart as often
As when life hands a child tiny as well as large successes
The dads who take care of me and now my children
Value not being late and watch time’s precautions
The dads I know and love always seem to know
The details of a toolbox, a tackle box and take
Seriously the instructions for putting countless
Gadgets together, the nuts and bolts that
Keep it all solidly together and never act concerned
When there are one or two screws remaining
Silently putting them away for safe keeping

Thirteen’s Reunion

The table flooded in picnic food
Unnecessary to choose wisely
At this meal unified in shared
Genetics, a history of salads,
Modernized now in feta, bulgar
Fusilli pasta, plates holding
Just desserts, tiny fingers
Delicately pudgified holding
Cookies, and rolls that drop
Onto the ground, hesitating
In worry if anyone saw, safety
All around hugging each child
These new cousins for the day

Where is the aunt keeping
Track of the minutes, the collective
Allowed to catapult back into the
Pool giggling, dunking under
The rope tempting the deep end
Hours together joyful, uncles
Playing cards, sisters sharing
Tidbits about people whose
Names familiar but without
Meaning to young ears, bring
Snorts of laughter all around the
Pool’s edge, sadness then having no
Place to rest its desperate head

Now, easy entertainment still
In a deck of cards, a swing
A water tap where bright balloons
Soon discarded for easily filled
Solo cups dumped onto the
Closest target in mischievous giggles
The pool exchanged grudgingly
For a ball field, the audience smaller
Bleachers instead of deck chairs
Pigtailed heads still intent on
Tiny bubbles blown whether from
Yellow, orange or blue bottles
Still a happy song memory of a Rose

Descendants of thirteen
Gathering to share laughs, love
Invisible heart strings revisited
The noticed absence for each
Missing member of this
Group where the finally to arrive
Was always greeted with an
Hooray at last to seal the deal
Those giants of our childhood
Imprinted on grateful hearts
That forever want one more view of
Chocolate chip cookies perfectly
Lined up in a baker’s dozen

The Paper Route

An almost forgotten employment
For my almost teenage boy
Delivering the news to doorsteps
While others slumber, sip coffee
Get ready for their day of labor
He saw the notice in a well placed
Ad stuffed into our mailbox
Available; three routes,
Twenty-five bonus just to sign-up
His round Dr. Seuss eyes,
Absorbing the countless
Possibilities of purchases
To be made with all that money
The new computer; mine
Only for me, he imagines specifically

Not wanting to squelch excitement
Conjured from a hope that he
Will make his wish into possibility
Fulfilled by his own volition
I secretly ponder the realities
In thoughts that swirl around details
He only contemplates the cash
Like a loony toon character with
Dollar signs that ring up in his eyes
The neighborhood is two miles away
I offer to drive him there
Every day, at five am, except Sunday
When the former paper boy, his dad
Performs this troublesome honor
The day thick with all those ads

After a week or so, his route memorized
Which gradually worked into a month, this child
Who cried the third day in frustration over wind
That sent him skittering to jumble
Those black inky folds neatly back together
While watching from a distance
I reminded myself this was not a something for me
To scurry towards making it all better, but
The invisible pull to save made my viewing
Heart fold in a cringe feeling his fear that
He would fail in this personal quest
To be slightly independent
These spaces of quiet morning time precious
Where every bunny rabbit still gives pause
And every paper delivered a tiny success

Essay in Regard for the Other Mothers in My Life

Funny thing about mothers is they come in all manner of unlikely forms.
We like to think of the woman who gave birth to us, but for some,
there was a woman with many thoughtful reasons for parting with a baby in a selfless effort to provide a home with another woman who becomes the real mother, feeding, caring for needs, wants, supporting the details of normal living that go unnoticed until today where maybe in a sentimental Hallmark card or a child’s Mother’s Day art effort, there is a listing of the reasons and the tasks fulfilled that we appreciate in our mothers; that all of us forget to acknowledge every other day.
The descriptions of how she makes the best cookies, she holds my hair when I am sick in the middle of the night, she always hugs me when I’m sad, and the coupons for one free hug, one free empty the dishwasher, and one free take out the recycling; cards beginning in duty, filled with affection, consistent in their ending of “I love you!”

I have a mother, she loves me, she cared for me, she is quietly supportive and I love her and know she did the best she could. Like we, all of us mothers try to do.
Some days we perform and fulfill all the duties, tasks, and affections better than other days;
always we try
Today, I am thinking of so many other people that gently but strongly remind me that we all have many mothers passing in and out of our days.

The sister-n-law that believes in you when no one else does and nudges
more from you when humiliated and scared, you just want to give up, clicking the thumbs up “like” when no one else does, saving us from the loneliness of feeling a failure. Jane, never plain, always notices, always sees potential, visibly and invisibly supporting so many of us, every day.

The boss, the Conservative, the guy’s guy, who might be mistaken for not caring, he always says you can do it, always reminds you not to be too hard on yourself, he understands, and never makes you feel badly for losing your cool and crying in utter frustration. John, simply good at seeing the good in other people who may not deserve his kindness.

The cousin, teaching other people’s children for over 25 years, the wonderful woman who not having physically given birth to a baby,
dotes, cares, loves, remembers, worries when she had problems of her own. Vicki, responding to an email and always saying yes.
Always interested, laughing and lovely in thought and action.

The friend you haven’t seen in years, the genuinely good mother you commiserated with when your sons were toddlers and you often felt trapped in the muck and mundane, the sleepless everyday routines, tantrums, and joys of motherhood. Marie, sincere, hugging you at
Wal-Mart reminding in stories of similarities you aren’t the only one.

The colleague and friend who always makes you laugh, tries to give you
another perspective, so you don’t feel badly when your work is rejected. Giver of ideas and possibilities, the holder of hope who keeps trying and only asks that you do the same. Gary, saying you will be wonderful on the days you feel completely mediocre, and want to crawl in a hole.

The childhood friend you have known for as long as you’ve known yourself, whose texts and calls brighten ever day. The one person you can call and will listen through the tears, loving you in your rightness and wrongness, the happy voice on every message. “Hey Booze, It’s Nance!” Always there in the darkest of days to say it will get better.

The husband, who wants what is best for you, and always keeps trying when he may not want to try that day, whose own father wasn’t an example of love in his approach. This man who doesn’t complain about work, who volunteers for everything. Terry, often unappreciated by the sons he does so much for, and a wife who should give him more credit.

There are so many examples of mothers in our lives. So many people
we won’t give a card to today, or take to breakfast, brunch or dinner.
This annual day when we remember and regard with such clarity
The goodness and altruism in motherhood, can also be a day
when we appreciate the love and support from the people who,
never our real mothers,
nourish us, care for us, and support us like a mother does.
I am grateful for the love and support of all my unlikely sometimes mothers.
I love you all even if not named this time.
And I ask everyone who may read this, “Who are yours?”