Tag Archives: heart

The Paper Route

An almost forgotten employment
For my almost teenage boy
Delivering the news to doorsteps
While others slumber, sip coffee
Get ready for their day of labor
He saw the notice in a well placed
Ad stuffed into our mailbox
Available; three routes,
Twenty-five bonus just to sign-up
His round Dr. Seuss eyes,
Absorbing the countless
Possibilities of purchases
To be made with all that money
The new computer; mine
Only for me, he imagines specifically

Not wanting to squelch excitement
Conjured from a hope that he
Will make his wish into possibility
Fulfilled by his own volition
I secretly ponder the realities
In thoughts that swirl around details
He only contemplates the cash
Like a loony toon character with
Dollar signs that ring up in his eyes
The neighborhood is two miles away
I offer to drive him there
Every day, at five am, except Sunday
When the former paper boy, his dad
Performs this troublesome honor
The day thick with all those ads

After a week or so, his route memorized
Which gradually worked into a month, this child
Who cried the third day in frustration over wind
That sent him skittering to jumble
Those black inky folds neatly back together
While watching from a distance
I reminded myself this was not a something for me
To scurry towards making it all better, but
The invisible pull to save made my viewing
Heart fold in a cringe feeling his fear that
He would fail in this personal quest
To be slightly independent
These spaces of quiet morning time precious
Where every bunny rabbit still gives pause
And every paper delivered a tiny success

Magic

My cousin, 7, said the Easter bunny was a hoax
What is a hoax I wondered, a giant rabbit maybe

The boy behind me in the 2nd grade passed a note
It read, Only babies believe in Santa Claus, do you?

My brother, 11, said the tooth fairy didn’t lose her way
She may come tonight, he scoffed, but she isn’t real

Each time these truths were forced upon my ears
I grew up and was uncomfortable in my little girl heart

That little girl’s heart didn’t disappear for good, it lay
In wait to give what it could in the way of magic

Tucking secret presents under a tree, hiding candy filled
baskets, stealthily placing quarters under sleeping heads

Even if sometimes the magic isn’t what was expected
Maybe wasn’t quite the first choice, or even the second

Sometimes what isn’t real, those fairy dust creations
Make the uglier truths just a bit easier to bare, for both

If you tell me they are hoaxes, unreal, and only for babies
I will understand with my big girl brain that knows the truth

But my heart, beating as an aunt, and now as a mom
Will say those who don’t believe, don’t ever truly receive

Love or Money

On the radio, there is this constant talk of Kim Kardashian being pregnant by one man while being married to another. I asked a friend why she was still married to the other man, and the friend explained that Kim wouldn’t agree that the marriage was a publicity stunt for money, so the divorce is stalled. This poem is not intended to be about Kim Kardashian or anyone in particular, but I started thinking about all the reasons people get married. Money was historically a very good and respectable reason for marrying. It probably always will be. I do find it interesting that a woman marrying for money appears more acceptable than the reverse, so that was the only reason for the pronoun choices in the little rhyme below.

If you marry for money
Does it soon become clear
That life is much better
Drinking wine than just beer

Do you suddenly feel
The importance of self
That comes from the knowing
You have tangible wealth

How does it feel
This lacking of passion
When nothing else mattered
But how you could cash in

When your face gets all wrinkly
And your body sags down
Should he remember
He is solemnly bound

To love you despite
What you failed to see
That he has a heart
He gave you for free