Category Archives: Love

Unsteady Nineteen

At nineteen you should hear every moment what
I wish now someone had said to me, even once
Back when unsteady as you now are in the belief
Of your worthiness beyond and instead of what seems
The judgment of others, oftentimes from the
People surrounding us who love us most but who,
Unable to overcome their own shortcomings,
Build a mountain of doubt we must climb over
Stumbling and scraping on the sliding pebbles, weary
In our search for what the other girls so easily
Enjoy, a glowing protection against the loneliness
Of failure to be the best at something, anything
At nineteen I want to tell you that as a young woman
One can only be the best at being what the girl
In you has forgotten, has shoved away thinking,
If no one wants me now, no one ever will
I tell you this is an absolute untruth, a lie
Not to be believed for the splitest of seconds
You with the easy smile wrapped in wariness

At nineteen, when legal doors begin to open signifying
A feeling of adulthood and responsibilities around the corner,
I remind you loudly and with my help if you ever need it
To pull as hard as you can on your anchor in the sand
Move yourself out of a dry dock if others place you there
I would say God Dammit! Shove off from this pier of self doubt
Based on what others keep telling you in small daily increments
Of unthoughtfulness. I would say it just like that too
With cursing and spittle flying so you took seriously
My passion for your cause and need to sail on waves
Churned from a sea of your own belief, a rudder
Moving by your own hand, those of us who love you
Blowing quietly and diligently on your sails if you tire
No one can successfully sail your ship like you can
But you have to give the final shove and wave farewell
To that landscape that says this is all there is for you
You, in the end, must cast away from the other belief
You have to say to yourself every moment, I love myself
I will be my own best friend, so at twenty you will be closer
To being the woman that little girl in you always dreamed of

Threshold 40

Perfectly indispensable in a world
Of throw away everything,
Already by mid life having
Been shattered twice, putting
Herself back together, better
Than the original, not simply
New or only improved, instead
Her qualities deepened into a
Finer patina of experience
Far more relevant than
To be placed behind glass
Safety’s sake, protection
From the touch of true love’s
Appreciation, her colors,
The depth of her hue and light
Requires care, the touch of
Joy gently, quietly lifting from
This resting place, proudly
Stepping over a new threshold
Her brilliance shining into
New rooms of hope, adventure; life


In her father’s favorite boxer shorts, hair pulled back
From a face beautiful, eyes intent always on absorbing
The details of her experience, her surroundings, slight
Changes noticed and kept stored for use, maybe to
Share later, sometimes to hold tightly to her heart
Comfort when feeling lonely for the presence of
Someone she knows, that knows her;
Reciprocity, equal in depth, and knowledge of
The goodness, the humor, and faults that create
Relationships of duration; loves of a lifetime

She has a nonchalant gait and attitude that belies
Her appearance of confidence, allowing me to forget
The tenderness of her heart and the turmoil she
Often feels and tries to understand, her family
Now so different, challenging her attempts
To gain traction on the path she maneuvers
In and around, up and over, sometimes simply
Down where it is cold and warmth takes some
Effort to find for this girl whose soft blanket
Appreciation is pure and genuine, like her mother

This girl, loved at the precise moment she began
Who steadfast in her beliefs will not be bulldozed
Yet wavers at smells and slimy infractions in food
With fitful gags, the facial expression questioning
Us always in that “you can’t be serious?” manner
This girl who sends sweetly rendered messages
Magically when it is just what you need to hear
Now, at the start of her adult life, twenty-one,
My wish is she loves herself, accepts herself
Even half as much as she is loved by all of us

Farmer’s Market

It is dark, impending thunder, high winds;
Slate grey caution in the wall of clouds
In the imminent distance, momentary
Hesitation to head downtown away from
The promised safety of home, to the streets
Where farmer’s, bakers, florists, artisans
All specifically entwined, connected to
The wares that lay on or under tables, maybe
Being stored protectively on the organic seats of
Old Toyotas, beds of big American made Fords, Chevys
The lovingly cared for old Dodge owned by
My first stop, a gentle well worn guy who
Does not allow me to place into my bag uncovered
What he acknowledges are small strawberries
But he adamantly asserts are the sweetest
You will ever enjoy, as are his bulbous green onions,
Asparagus proudly standing in formation
For free he provides the knowledge of his years
About each purchase I make, as he speaks I hug
The memory of the uncle who similar in looks; manner
Called me Lester, to make me one of the guys; included
Like his wife who welcomed all with time, cookies
Pleasure always in shared conversation, her patch
Of strawberries and asparagus hidden down the hill
From the lines of perfectly hung laundry gently
Acknowledging the breeze and ease of hanging out
He is gone now, and what she was is too, but I
Visit them with my heart every Saturday morning
Stormy, rainy, sultry, or cool at the pool of hosts,
And hostesses of my local Farmer’s Market


She Misses You

There is a space that hangs in midair
Dangling immediately there ahead of her
Like a rabbit chasing a carrot, she follows
In desperate hopes of catching even a
Glimpse, a scent, a murmur from the mouth
That is gone and barely does she see you
Doing the regular things, the everyday
The motion picture sense of you that
Is repeatedly rewound to save you from
Being diminished or worse forgotten
The one that maintains you flawless,
Saintly and revered by all the others
Is not what she seeks, nor needs you to be
No, her wish is someday, to simply see that
Face, the head slightly tilted back to the side,
The smile content in the moment